Fallout 76’s newest workbench sounds like something out of Tapper, and not the root beer edition. Bethesda Game Studios detailed what they have in mind with the Brewing Station, which is on tap (do ho) for Tuesday, March 12 in this month’s Wild Appalachia series of updates.

Players will get the Brewing Station during an onboard quest called “Wasted on Nukashine,” and with it, players will be able to brew beer, make wine and distill spirits that’ll getcha bombed quicker’n fishing with dynamite. Of course, this being Fallout, there will be a variety of effects that come from your potent potables.

Wine and likker will have a “fresh effect” and a “vintage effect.” Roughly speaking, the fresh effect hurts both you and someone else, but letting the sucker age a little will hurt only someone else. For example, Firecracker Whiskey’s fresh effect will land fire damage on both you and your target with your melee attacks. But vintage, only the other guy gets hurt.

The “Hoppy Hunter” beer will increase scope stability and damage to animals, but will reduce VATS accuracy. Then there’s the “Tick Blood Tequila Sunrise,” and I have no idea why anyone would drink it. A) You might get a disease but B) if you don’t you may refill your hunger meter. C) You are still drinking tick blood.

All of this stuff will be mission-gived by Biv, a barkeep robot nearby Vault-Tec University. Biv (no relation to Bel or Devoe) doles out the introductory mission, and then later offers two daily quests. One of them teaches a new brewing/distilling recipe and the other sounds like some kind of drinking contest where you nip on some corn squeezins and get into trouble with Snuffy and Lukey.

I am surely hoping that there is also a Assaultron Revenue Agent waiting somewhere up in the holler, with a satchel full of dynamite for blowing your still to kingdom come. Also, that adding a possum corpse to the mash speeds up the fermentation, just like real life.

More on Wild Appalachia and the rest of Fallout 76’s roadmap is here.

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